Smile

1. A student was asked to write a signboard for the traffic rules near school campus. He wrote: “Drive carefully! Don’t kill the students. Wait for teachers.”

2. Definition of Laziness: “It is a talent of taking rest before you get tired.”

3. Wife: “Why are you heating the knife?”
Pathan: “To commit suicide.”
Wife: “Then why are you heating it?”
Pathan: “To prevent infections.”

4. Judge asked to a little kid: “Now that your parents are getting divorced. Do you want to live with your mummy?”
Kid: “No sir. My mummy beats me.”
Judge: “Well then, I guess you want to live with your daddy.”
Kid: “No. my daddy beats me too.”
Judge: “Well then, who do you want to live with?”
Kid: “I want to live with Pakistani Cricket Team, they never beat anyone.”

5. Two pathans got tired using mobile phones. For a change, they decided to use pigeons to send messages. And this hilarious scheme worked very fine.
One day, a pathan sends his pigeon to another.
2nd pathan sees that the pigeon is without any message. He picks his mobile phone and asked 1st pathan: “The pigeon is without any message.”
2nd pathan: “That was a miscall.”

6. British: “Can you swim?”
Pakistani: “No”
British: “You know our dogs know too that how to swim.”
Pakistani: “Then what is the difference between you and dog?”

7. Question: What is education?
Answer: “Education is an organized system through which we waste half of our life to learn how to waste the remaining half of our life.”

8. Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".
Student: I is the...
Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".
Student: Ok. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

9. On a rainy day, an old man was standing with a book for sale. A young man came to buy. He bought the book for Rs.3000. Old man advised: “Don’t open last page of the book otherwise you will face problem”.
Man finished the book with great fear but didn’t open the last page. But after a week, he opened the last page and he almost fainted to see that “Retail Price: Rs. 30”.

10. A pathan pulled out 6 people from a burning house and saved their lives. But still people beat him and he was in jail. Why???
Because all the 6 people were fire fighters.